


The Speed dating Spectacular (Oneshot)

by vala411



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:02:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23966599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vala411/pseuds/vala411
Summary: 'There must be some sick and twisted entity out there who liked to play with his life' Was probably what Drago probably thought about this latest adventure...... Speed dating.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	The Speed dating Spectacular (Oneshot)

**The Speed-dating Spectacular**

“No,” Drago huffed as he crossed his arm over his prosthetic.

“Come on boss…. Please!” One of his many minions whined. “The guys really put effort into this. They just want to see you happy,”

“NO!” Drago growled as his brow twitched. He expected a lot from his minions. Somethings were on the more outrageous side even for the criminal empire he ran but this really took the cake. “Whatever gave you the idea that I would participate in…… in SPEED DATING!”

“Well, we do want to see you happy.” The minion braved. “You’ve been grumpy as of late and well…….. Happy bosses maim minions less.”

Another minion mumbled “It wouldn’t be bad if you had a Missus or a Mister to keep you company,”

Then another spoke up, ganging up on their boss “Yeah, and really it’s one night. The venue is already booked and paid for and the food was thrown in for free.”

A fourth minion added, “And it’s not like we signed you up on eHarmony or Grindr.” The _yet_ was left unspoken but Drago had a feeling that his employees wouldn’t let this matter drop soon.

Drago grumbled something under his breath before muttering “Fineeee,”

And that was how one of the city’s crimelords found himself seated in a four-star restaurant named ‘The Twin-headed Dragon’ after being given a tux in a garment bag by one of the many minions who had voiced their concerns about his lack of love-life. Drago was sorely tempted to reevaluate employee contracts. The restaurant was empty save for Drago and the wait staff who assured him they had the candidates in another room. The turn out seemed to have surprised even him.

The first person to be nearly dragged to his table, Drago observed was a lanky auburn-haired man. The waiter patted the man on the shoulder just as he was about to protest. Drago let out a cough to get the guy’s attention.

“I’m married,” Was the first thing the auburn-haired man said.

Drago blinked and then asked, “Then why are you here?” while trying to put a name to the face. He was sure he’d seen the man somewhere.

“I was just picking up some Orange Chicken for my wife….. Who is in the car probably wondering where I am.” The man muttered. “This is a big misunderstanding…” And then something dawned on the guy. “Wait… aren’t you...?”

Before he could continue his statement the doors to the restaurant were slammed open and a very irate and pregnant blonde woman stood before them. “Hiccup Haddock where in Helheim were you and where is my chicken?!”

The man, Hiccup, gulped as his wife looked between them. Drago saw her eyes narrow as she took in the romantic setting. “Are you trying to steal my husband from me, you hussy?!” she spat.

Drago was thrown for a loop since this was the first time he had been called a hussy. He missed it when the man gulped and backed away as his wife grabbed a small cactus from one of the tables.

“Astrid…. Astrid… really… this is all a misunderstanding,” the guy gabbled urgently, trying to placate the furious and now armed Astrid. “Why don’t we go see the twins? I’m sure your order is ready.”

Astrid huffed but put down the cactus. She did glare at the crimelord with such venom that would have sent any other man quivering. Drago sat uncomfortably in his chair as the couple departed and he swore to never get on the bad side of pregnant women. And then it clicked and he choked on the sip of wine he had taken to calm his nerves after being threatened with a cactus. The woman had called the man Haddock, as in Haddock the Police Chief. ‘Did I just accidentally get paired up with the son of the Police Chief?!?!?!’ His mind scrambled to find an answer. But Drago didn’t have much time to think as his next ‘suitor’ was led to the table.

The next person to take a seat at his table was a relatively short but muscular man. ‘Where did my minions find these people?!’ Drago silently asked himself as the guy flexed his muscles and then took a seat.

“Why hello, darling. I’m Snotlout,” the man introduced himself and Drago could only blink in astonishment.

“I see that my good looks have left you speechless,” Snotlout continued with a very assured smirk and Drago sputtered.

“You would do best to hold your tongue!” The crime lord finally managed to get out and all the man did across from him was wag his brows in a suggestive manner.

“I wanna hold something else,” Snotlout muttered suggestively causing Drago to choke on his drink once more. “Like your credit card.”

“WHAT?!” Drago exclaimed.

“What what?” Snotlout blinked.

“Did you just suggest I….. I’d be your… SUGARDADDY?!” Drago slammed his fist on the table causing the wine glasses to rattle as he narrowed his eyes at the short man.

“Well… yeah, I mean you’re the one who contacted me,” Snotlout blinked.

“I did no such thing!” Drago exclaimed. “I got dragged to this speed dating thing and I am not….. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SOME GIGOLO!

“Well excuse me!” Snotlout huffed and then stopped for a moment, a question in his eyes. “Wait, speed dating?” he then looked at his phone and rattled off an address that had Drago groaning and facepalming.

“That’s next door!” the man shouted and Snotlout was out of his chair faster than a moose charging through the snow.

“AH, I’m late!” The man exclaimed as he rushed out of the restaurant.

The next few speed dating candidates Drago had also didn’t exactly end well. First, there was the brunette named Atali who took the seat Snotlout had vacated. She blinked across the otherwise empty restaurant and her eyes had then settled on Drago. He was about to introduce himself when she asked: “This isn’t the annual meeting for the Dragon Crochet club is it?”

“No,” Drago supplied as the woman flushed red and excused herself. She did pat the crime boss on the shoulder and told him to hang in there with the dates.

The next candidate was a slim blond woman in a black cocktail dress sporting a pixie cut. She introduced herself as Mala and in the next instance, Drago had to duck as a knife nearly hit him right between the eyes. He remembered the woman growling angrily before she vanished like a ninja. The only reminder Drago had that it had actually occurred was the very sharp knife sticking out of the wall behind him. The man blinked for a moment, righting himself as he looked at the now-empty seat in front of him. He hadn’t seen her take the knife out of her clutch purse and he doubted it would have fit in there as it was a pretty big serrated knife. So now Drago’s thoughts were on ‘Where in the nine realms did she hide it?’ as the waiter gulped before getting the next candidate out.

The next candidate appeared to be none other than Eret Eretson, one of his own lieutenants. Drago narrowed his eyes as the man fidgeted. It was a very tense ten minutes were neither party said anything. When the time was up Eret mumbled something under his breath before excusing himself.

The one after Eret wasn’t any better. An old man named Mildew who talked too much about his pet sheep. The whole night so far caused Drago to wonder about the mental faculties of his minions as he tuned out the old man. After Mildew another middle-aged man, this time wearing a hideous orange ascot, sat down and introduced himself as Johann. Drago didn’t even get to utter a word as a very long-winded story flowed out of the other man’s mouth. Drago blinked as the man kept on talking, he blinked as ten minutes passed without him uttering anything. He blinked when the man just kept going and had to be forcefully removed.

Drago didn’t know how much more of this he could take and he blinked as the seat in front of him was scooted backwards. A short old woman with a walking stick took a seat and stared at Drago with all-knowing eyes. The woman then proceeded to take out a notepad and Drago realized that she was mute. She scribbled something on the pad and then handed it to the man. “Hello, my name is Gothi and I like younger men that are bad boys,” Drago looked up sharply after reading that and saw Gothi wink at him and blow a kiss. The old woman that was flirting with him now was possibly nearing 90 years or older and Drago muttered, “I don’t think I’m the man for you.”

Gothi proceeded to write something else on her notepad and Drago gulped when he read it. “Oh, playing hard to get. I like ‘em feisty,” Gothi didn’t wait for Drago to say anything else as she slyly gave him a piece of paper with very detailed things she wanted to do.

Drago gulped down the rest of his wine and excused himself. Gothi was still seated at the table as the crimelord barreled out of the restaurant as if the hounds of Hell were after him. People that night would swear they saw the fearsome mafia boss shriek like a little girl while jumping in his black car.

**The End**


End file.
